ezrielsdarkness asked: I feel like my idol just died, I had looked up too you for so long with YT and all then disappearing for personal reasons.. Then coming back, finding even you have a tlr.. but I was crushed over what I found.. drugs, proud prostitute.. I know by reading you most likely don't give a shit.. I just want to go back to bed, I don't know if I'd sad for your sake or angry at myself for being stupid looking up to someone who turns out to be like you..
You don’t know anything about drugs or being a prostitute. Your opinions are so shallow that I can see they have been formed by society and with no measure of personal experience or opinion. You have a lot to learn about life, but unfortunately you shall never learn anything with such an attitude.
Do not be sad for me. I promise, I am happier than you are, and that’s all that life is about ;)
Anonymous asked: Noo...why do you spread your cheeks for money? Once I found you extremely enchanting and smart. I'm sorry, but the idea that everybody can buy you for some coins destroys all of your magic. Quick money = transgender sickness?
My priorities lie with becoming a woman. I desire to be passable, functional and, for all intents and purposes from the perspective of society, a female. This means I need to save money for surgical procedures (FFS, SRS, Breast Argumentation and possibly transgender voice surgery). Prostitution and escorting is the quickest route to this monetary goal.
I do not believe in attributing intangible ‘value’ to the act of sex. In my mind, from an incredibly logical perspective, I see sex as basically a specific and defined co-ordination between two bodies. As far as I’m concerned with escorting, this means a homo sapiens organism embedding his genitalia within me.
This specific co-ordination of my body in relation to someone else’s costs me nothing but time. I do not believe that escort sex should have more meaning than as I have explained it to have in factual terms. I am paid for this time, and subsequently, I become closer to my monetary goal and that means I will able to transition into the female which I so desire to become, sooner.
Do not feel sad that my body is used in exchange for money. My body is my body and until I am fully finished transitioning, my body will be currency for it’s own development. I actually gain satisfaction from the knowledge that the body I have now is actually going to be my route to the new body I wish to have.
The important thing to remember is that I am not a victim of any kind. I choose this route and I do not begrudge it. I am happy to sell sex for money. If I found prostitution morally jarring with my beliefs (as some would) I would seek an alternate route to earning the money I need to earn. I am thankful that I am not incarcerated by moral inhibitions - I am thankful that I see the world in which live in at face value. I do not try and give intimate acts like sexual intercourse more meaning than they deserve.
Also, I would like to point out that, for me, being an escort does not devalue sex. I can still have loving, passionate and ‘intensely bonding’ sex with those I love. I believe it is not the actual act of sex which makes it special; it is the shared pleasure and the thought processes running through the individuals’ minds as they make love together. That is what makes passionate and loving sexual intercourse special.
I cherish all the clients I see in my line of work. They are the people who are allowing me to forge my dreams. Bring on everybody who wants to fuck me. If you can afford it, contribute to my transition - I am not so special that seeing me naked, fucking me, or even just having dinner with me, should not be able to be bought with money. Money, which I am not afraid to say, I NEED.
Photo and retouch: Lauren-Becki Rowlands
hjartaa asked: What will you be doing about your broad shoulders / arms / chest? I understand you're planning on getting breast implants but that won't take away from the structure of your natural frame. No matter how feminine, you can easily tell a man's collarbones / shoulders / arms. My reason for asking is that I noticed the photo you had of you on the sofa and your arms are still very masculine.
Nothing, sweetheart. You can’t lessen the width of your shoulders… I was a s very strong competitive swimmer from a young age, so I have particularly broad shoulders for my size. My arms are not masculine though really. I think people looking at my photos forgot that my waist is actually only 24 inches. This makes the rest of me look larger. My arms are no wider than most females.
I actually quite enjoy having broad shoulders. They are very desirable from a high fashion perspective. Narrow hips too are great for runway. The broadness of my chest is a very unique and powerful feature of my aesthetic I do not wish to fix them to more typical female dimensions.
Also, simply having broad shoulders will not prevent me from ever passing as a girl. Pretty much all girls have some masucline features, but they still look like women. Take Angelina Jolie’s chin; it’s very masculine; but no one would mistake her for a man, because everything else is very feminine.
Anonymous asked: How did you go about entering the sex work industry? And what was it like mentally and emotionally for you when you first started taking clients? I always like to romanticize women in your line of work as these powerful Goddesses that all men pine for, but is it really like that?
Id say I feel very much like that when I escort. Perhaps this is why, or because, I enjoy working in the sex-trade.
Mentally and emotionally… I found it quite empowering and very exciting.
Anonymous asked: Don't you feel that your extreme expression through clothing and makeup prevents you from being perceived that much more as a 'natural' woman? Not that gothic girls don't exist, but I'm assuming that a more natural look would be more feminine maybe?
No, I don’t think it does actually. To be honest my clothes are usually very normal. I don’t wear goth attire. The only goth things I do occasionally are: gothic drippiness under my eyes with makeup, wear high fetish heels, wear a collar, wear latex to a club, have black hair and relatively pale skin. I think often my style excuses people from not being able to full interpret my gender. They assume because my style is quite deliberate, that perhaps my looking androgynous also is deliberate.
Also, SO many men choose me as an escort because they find my style very hot. Men definitely love a bit of goth girl to fuck.
Finally, all m2f transsexuals may we be united in the goal that they wish to appear female, but that does not mean they should all sacrifice their style and anything else important to them, hoping normality might make them pass better. I don’t believe normality would make me pass better, and even if it would, I KNOW it would make me less desirable in general. Literally every man I speak to thinks the gothic influenced girl is dead hot.
Anonymous asked: How many message u get and do u skim them or read every single one n answer only good ones
I read all my messages on this site. I don’t really have a clue how many I get. something like 10 - 40 per day. I hate posting rubbish questions and answers all over my blog like this because it’s totally unstimulating and thoroughly uninteresting. I answer privately a lot of questions that people ask me, but with anon questions, the only way to answer them is to put it on my blog. The vast majority of anon questions are not worth putting on my blog so the vast majority of them go unanswered. If people stopped using anon, you’d probably have your questions answered by me.